Some Firsts

There have been a few firsts since my last post. Here they are:

First Time I...


...Went To an Office Party

I had my first ever office/work party last week for Chinese New Year.

Generally, I think my colleagues are incredibly reserved and mild-mannered. Not quite walking on eggshells but the guard is always up at work, I feel. At the party, everyone got a little drunk and it was nice to see.

The younger teachers were all sauced on wine and noticeably red-faced. It's acceptable and encouraged to peer pressure the boss into binge drinking. People line up to take shots with the boss like it's a 21st birthday party. What a Western office might call "sexual harassment" the Taiwanese office calls fun: during the shot line, one of the teachers held out her leg and said to the boss hammily, "I'm wearing red panties."

Getting the boss drunk is standard because, next, bonuses and gifts are handed out.

All of the bonuses came and red envelopes in odd denominations. Red signifies luck and joy (ahhaaa, red panties). Even numbers are unlucky, four particularly because in Chinese it sounds like the word death. There isn't a fourth floor in hospitals. The elevator goes from 3 to 5. A lot of things here are dictated by superstition. Gift-giving being a good example, following a complicated set of parameters and protocol.

I think a celebratory dinner like this one also follows some sort of established protocol. Throughout the whole process there were a bunch of theatrics - the Taiwanese love microphones.

Altogether, I was happy with my first office party and of course the extra cash.


...Enjoyed Myself In a Nightclub

Ok, not first, but I could count sincere instances on one hand, nonetheless. A few weekends ago, when the weather was too crummy to paraglide, I took the opportunity and went north to Taipei to visit a friend and go out for a night.

The club was cool because every couple of hours was interjected by a staged performance: flair bartending, dancers, dancers dressed in Darth Vader costumes with light sabers. It broke up the monotony of, well, being in a club.

I met some cool people and drank tequila with them, like this guy from Texas. Whenever I meet someone from Texas, I break the ice by asking, "Have you ever shot anyone?" So far, it has always been well-received. I'll quit using that line when someone replies in the affirmative.

It was also a nice opportunity to hit on blonde girls. Not many, though, in the sea of black hair. Regardless, I was swiftly rejected by like all three of them. Makes sense, I think my lifetime ratio of fail to succeed is in the neighborhood of like 10 or 15 to 1.

Hindsight, I have fallen into a scrub-like state of existence while living in my small village and people in clubs are trendy. Next time, I'll dress up and wear my hollering cap. The hollering cap is an unreleased fitted hat. Whenever I wear it, things fall for me - it's scary. I didn't buy the hollering cap, it came to me during spring break. I was pretty obliterated that entire week so I'm hoping I didn't make a Faustian bargain.

More about the hollering cap later...



... Owned a Paragliding Wing


I am starting to buy my very own paragliding gear, first purchase being the wing. New paraglider smell totally eclipses new car and new shoe smell.

The gear is costly and consumes most of my disposable income, but it's a lasting investment. Also, I got it at a killer really good price.

Today, I practiced some ground handling and it inflates brilliantly.

I don't want to post much about paragliding on stahlamerican, though, because I think it makes sense to start a paragliding sideblog in the spirit of organization and niche readership.

... Ran Completely Out of Contacts


I always test the limits of shipping because I forget to order contacts until I'm on my last pair. This time, it didn't work, and I enjoyed the fruits of my laziness and -1.25 uncorrected vision. My contacts came the same day as my paragliding wing - cosmic sign or coincidence? Whichever, it's sure nice to see individual blades of grass again.


... Am Using My Own Internet (in Taiwan)

And not pirating my neighbor's wifi. I just bought an external hard drive and my moral compass red flags pirating while pirating. Come on, that's just too much pirating. Pirating. I had to.

Pirating.

Done.

...Found a Song That Is Unequivocally Terrible 


This is a monumental milestone for me. I've always been hard-pressed to find songs that are without any redeeming qualities whatsoever. Well, I've found one. I dare you to listen.

Xiu Xiu's cover of Fast Car by Tracy Chapman


Furthermore, I dare you to recommend a worse song. It's not likely, but you can try in the comments section.

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