What's more fun than telling long-distance friends how much nicer your weather is? Doing it graphically! My most recent bookmark: WeatherSpark.
E.O. Wilson's TED wish, a collaborative biology wiki, the Encyclopedia of Life. I hope to contribute some images of Bungarus multicinctus before leaving Taiwan.
A new data and statistics search engine, Zanran. Check out this search of "accidental deaths in the United States". The preview feature is nice, huh?
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Boracay
Boracay is really beautiful and overrun by tourists. I enjoyed both.
Below are some snaps. It was nice finally giving my underwater camera (Panasonic Lumix DMC-TS2) a workout. Lighting is tricky underwater, and I was at the mercy of sunlight. Next time, I'll bring a lighting source.
Also, can anyone help identify what picture five is? Snake or eel?
Thursday, May 19, 2011
I am...
...not drinking an avocado smoothie anymore! Sorry about the lack of posts. I've been lazy. Really lazy.
Anyhow, I am going to the Philippines for a few days.
It's much needed - teaching is awful. I'd like to think I'll come back rejuvenated, with renewed enthusiasm, but that's unlikely because teaching is awful. I'll Tell you about it when I'm back.
And so much more.
Also, I'll take lots of pictures above and below water.
Anyhow, I am going to the Philippines for a few days.
It's much needed - teaching is awful. I'd like to think I'll come back rejuvenated, with renewed enthusiasm, but that's unlikely because teaching is awful. I'll Tell you about it when I'm back.
And so much more.
Also, I'll take lots of pictures above and below water.
Thursday, April 14, 2011
What I'm Drinking - Avocado Smoothie
I don't have a sweet-tooth; I have an avocado-tooth. So, naturally, I was overjoyed to find a mom-and-pop smoothie place that had avocado smoothies. Don't think avocados would be good in smoothie form? Think again. This is one of many things the Taiwanese are incredibly adept at turning into drinks.
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Spring Scream - 2011
Last weekend I went to Kenting for Spring Scream music festival - the party of parties on the island. It lived up to the hype. Beach by day and music and fireworks all night.
Here are some pictures:
Here are some pictures:
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
I'm American. I Speak American
Yes, I know the "I'm abroad and learning languages is difficult" posts are trite. Sorry, but god damn it.
Just god damn it!
I'm really grappling with Chinese. Sometimes, I think I'm getting the hang of it but I'm not. Take away the context and I'm sunk. Just about every time I get in a taxi and try to get to the train station, for example. It usually goes something like this:
It's the tones. The "Wǒ yào dào" part is fine because context is there - remember I'm in a taxi. It's the "huǒchē zhàn" that always gets me. It's not for lack of practice, either. I say it to myself over and over and it absolutely completely sounds correct in my head, but I can't vocalize it. I know this will just kinda work itself out. After all, at first I couldn't distinguish individual words but now I can. Eventually the tones will similarly follow suit.
Until then, my strategy of saying a phrase with a bunch of different tones on each word is less than ideal. Take "huǒchē zhàn" for instance. Three words with four possible tones each, 4^3 gives me 64. Sixty four possible combinations. (That's a lot.) Pragmatically, it's a race to the bottom - say the fewest words and therefore combination possibilities to convey my message.
And that's my Chinese language paradox: The less I say, the more I will be understood. The less I say, the less I will understand.
Given my exasperation, I empathize w/ this kid. I'd totally jump on this bandwagon if I were not on foreign soil...
Patriotic Teen Fails Spanish
PS, If you appreciate this video for reasons other than its snarky hilarity, please stop reading my blog. Thanks.
.
Just god damn it!
I'm really grappling with Chinese. Sometimes, I think I'm getting the hang of it but I'm not. Take away the context and I'm sunk. Just about every time I get in a taxi and try to get to the train station, for example. It usually goes something like this:
Me: Wǒ yào dào huǒchē zhàn. (I want to go to the train station.)
Driver: Zài nǎlǐ? (Where?)
Me: huǒchē zhàn (Train station)
Driver: (tilts head slightly)
Me: (huǒchē zhàn) (Train station)
Driver: (raises eyebrows, careens neck towards me, pivots head a little)
Me: A lo ha. (Aloha - bus company near the train station.)
Driver: Aloha?
Me: Dway, fùjìn huǒchē zhàn. (Yes, near the train station.)
Driver: Ohhh,[shakes finger] huǒchē zhàn. (Ohhh, t-r-a-i-n s-t-a-t-i-o-n)
Me: God. Damn. It.
It's the tones. The "Wǒ yào dào" part is fine because context is there - remember I'm in a taxi. It's the "huǒchē zhàn" that always gets me. It's not for lack of practice, either. I say it to myself over and over and it absolutely completely sounds correct in my head, but I can't vocalize it. I know this will just kinda work itself out. After all, at first I couldn't distinguish individual words but now I can. Eventually the tones will similarly follow suit.
Until then, my strategy of saying a phrase with a bunch of different tones on each word is less than ideal. Take "huǒchē zhàn" for instance. Three words with four possible tones each, 4^3 gives me 64. Sixty four possible combinations. (That's a lot.) Pragmatically, it's a race to the bottom - say the fewest words and therefore combination possibilities to convey my message.
And that's my Chinese language paradox: The less I say, the more I will be understood. The less I say, the less I will understand.
Given my exasperation, I empathize w/ this kid. I'd totally jump on this bandwagon if I were not on foreign soil...
Patriotic Teen Fails Spanish
PS, If you appreciate this video for reasons other than its snarky hilarity, please stop reading my blog. Thanks.
.
Friday, March 25, 2011
Guilty Pleasure - Seagal Flicks
Of course, some are better than others. Still, look at this and tell me what is terribly wrong:
There's a grievous, maybe accidental, mistake with this rating. I mean, a 3.9. Come on! More like 3 million .9.
*Spoiler Alert* Did people even SEE the part where Forrest Taft blows up an entire oil rig after disarming and arm-breaking hundreds of mustached bad guys?! Obviously not.
There's a grievous, maybe accidental, mistake with this rating. I mean, a 3.9. Come on! More like 3 million .9.
*Spoiler Alert* Did people even SEE the part where Forrest Taft blows up an entire oil rig after disarming and arm-breaking hundreds of mustached bad guys?! Obviously not.
Friday, March 18, 2011
Life In The Village
I'm off to Taipei for a paragliding convention, green beer, and social interaction. It's about time to be getting out of Donggang; I'm at risk of becoming asocial. Snapshot of my life during the week:
* Imagine conversations between inanimate objects in my house, could they talk.
* I am becoming truly proficient with a slingshot.
* I can tie an alpine butterfly knot behind my back.
* I posted selleckwaterfallsandwich to my blog.
* I am getting really good at the blanket stitch and appreciate its aesthetic.
* Imagine conversations between inanimate objects in my house, could they talk.
* I am becoming truly proficient with a slingshot.
* I can tie an alpine butterfly knot behind my back.
* I posted selleckwaterfallsandwich to my blog.
* I am getting really good at the blanket stitch and appreciate its aesthetic.
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Why No Consumer Choice in Customer Service Outsourcing?
I suspect more than a few hands would raise if I asked a room full of people the loaded question, "Have you ever been frustrated by outsourced customer service?"
From the Wall Street Journal:
Still, outsourcing and offshoring are attractive to businesses because they reduce costs, albeit at the expense of customer satisfaction. Grossly reduced, the decision presents a a problem: outsource, save, and alienate consumers or vice versa.
I seek some middle ground.
What if consumers were given a choice between outsourced or in-house tech support/customer service? Basically, they could choose between calling the "free" outsourced customer service or elect to call in-house and pay for the increased costs pro rata. (Remember 900 numbers?) Of course, not every consumer has a problem with customer service in the status quo, hence the option. This structure would expand choices for consumers while mitigating the loathsome overhead on the business side.
Sure, this adds some logistics, etc, but remember that is paid for on the consumers' dime. Additionally, companies could derive information from the demand schedule of calls - nothing like revealed preference.
Welfare gains all around, right?
So why not? A few things come to mind:
*Outsourcing/offshoring to call centers also has significant non-monetary benefits.
*Companies already know that cost exceeds consumer willingness to pay.
*Provoke a, "Why pay extra for something I already paid for?" furious attitude. Aka, why split hairs between bad-customer-service anger and I-should-pay-more-for-this anger.
I'm curious what the end result of this idea, if propagated, would suggest. Do people truly and sufficiently value competent support or are the widespread complaints about outsourced calls are just an opportunistic jab in the existential relationship between companies and consumers?
Thoughts or comments?
.
From the Wall Street Journal:
We analyzed ... 150 North American companies and business units from 1998 to 2006 ...[and] those that outsourced customer service saw a drop in their score on the American Consumer Satisfaction Index ... The declines were roughly the same whether companies outsourced customer service domestically or overseas. (read the full article here)Makes sense - people calling tech support are probably edgy already. Outsourcing to a call center, US-based or offshore, adds a bunch of possible rage-multipliers: a language barrier, insufficient customer information, or the inability to grant credit and resolve similar issues, to name a few.
Still, outsourcing and offshoring are attractive to businesses because they reduce costs, albeit at the expense of customer satisfaction. Grossly reduced, the decision presents a a problem: outsource, save, and alienate consumers or vice versa.
I seek some middle ground.
What if consumers were given a choice between outsourced or in-house tech support/customer service? Basically, they could choose between calling the "free" outsourced customer service or elect to call in-house and pay for the increased costs pro rata. (Remember 900 numbers?) Of course, not every consumer has a problem with customer service in the status quo, hence the option. This structure would expand choices for consumers while mitigating the loathsome overhead on the business side.
Sure, this adds some logistics, etc, but remember that is paid for on the consumers' dime. Additionally, companies could derive information from the demand schedule of calls - nothing like revealed preference.
Welfare gains all around, right?
So why not? A few things come to mind:
*Outsourcing/offshoring to call centers also has significant non-monetary benefits.
*Companies already know that cost exceeds consumer willingness to pay.
*Provoke a, "Why pay extra for something I already paid for?" furious attitude. Aka, why split hairs between bad-customer-service anger and I-should-pay-more-for-this anger.
I'm curious what the end result of this idea, if propagated, would suggest. Do people truly and sufficiently value competent support or are the widespread complaints about outsourced calls are just an opportunistic jab in the existential relationship between companies and consumers?
Thoughts or comments?
.
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
WTF Bizarre Niche Blogs
Actually, I think these blogs smash niche to smithereens.
And, of course, Selleck Waterfall Sandwich:
Friday, March 11, 2011
Tsunami Alert in Taiwan
An 8.8 magnitude earthquake hit Japan a few hours ago and subsequently triggered a tsumani that may hit Taiwan.
I'm comforted because I live in the West, although in a harbor city.
Still, here in Donggang, a warning just went over the loudspeakers instructing people to stay away from the beaches. Nobody really knows what to expect, exactly. My Taiwanese coworker said this is the first time a public warning was broadcast, here. Another coworker said it's expected, if at all, to reach Taiwan in about an hour ~5:30ish. My coworkers don't seem to be worried.
I'm currently at school and will be until 5:30. After, I'll scramble home to my fourth floor apartment and keep my eyes peeled.
(update: the warning is lifted. The waves that did hit Taiwan were just 12cm high.)
I'm comforted because I live in the West, although in a harbor city.
Still, here in Donggang, a warning just went over the loudspeakers instructing people to stay away from the beaches. Nobody really knows what to expect, exactly. My Taiwanese coworker said this is the first time a public warning was broadcast, here. Another coworker said it's expected, if at all, to reach Taiwan in about an hour ~5:30ish. My coworkers don't seem to be worried.
I'm currently at school and will be until 5:30. After, I'll scramble home to my fourth floor apartment and keep my eyes peeled.
(update: the warning is lifted. The waves that did hit Taiwan were just 12cm high.)
Thursday, March 10, 2011
My Newest Feel-good Song
Whenever I need a pick-me-up or some reassurance, I'll play a song from my vault of feel-good songs. I stumbled upon this track on hypem (where else?) and it definitely makes the list:
Sunshine On My Shoulders (Superpose Edit)
listen here.
listen here.
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
What I'm Eating - Sugar-apple
Taiwan is renown for its incredible fruit, and I'm particularly fond of this one, the sugar-apple. (Chinese: 釋迦, pinyin: shìjiā)
The outside looks scaly, but it's incredibly delicate. It's easily broken open, exposing a milky, sugary flesh. Its taste and texture remind me of custard.
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Placenta Cream
I found this in the grocery store I frequent.
This isn't Engrish - I googled it and found the following:
It reminds me of this clip from South Park:
Placenta, on the other hand, is included in the cream moisturizer because of the unique biological compounds it produces. Since it is the organ responsible for supplying the fetus with the necessary nutrients and oxygen needed for successful growth, it is believed to store certain proteins that improve metabolic processes, accelerate tissue regeneration, and stimulate immunity.Still, I can't imagine rubbing placenta cream on my face without visceral disgust. I think the gross part completely trumps the "unique biological compounds" part.
It reminds me of this clip from South Park:
Monday, February 28, 2011
Please Buy Me This Airplane
I dream of owning this airplane, the ICON A5:
I'm not above begging.
If anyone incredibly wealthy stumbles upon my blog, please consider buying me one. I'll monitor the comments section for serious offers. Thanks a million! Well, thanks $139,000 USD + CPI increase, actually.
Not your standard 6 pack ! |
I'm not above begging.
If anyone incredibly wealthy stumbles upon my blog, please consider buying me one. I'll monitor the comments section for serious offers. Thanks a million! Well, thanks $139,000 USD + CPI increase, actually.
Friday, February 25, 2011
Death Floor
Notice anything strange about this elevator?
Like a missing 4th floor. It's not an accident - all hospitals in Taiwan do this. It's because "four" and "death" share the same sound with different tones.
four: sì (4th tone - falling)
death: sǐ (3rd tone - falling then rising)
DIY Haircut
Nope, that stripe was not intentional. Rule number one of DIY haircuts: always check the guard.
My friend was quick to comment:
"Rule number two of DIY haircuts: when a mistake is made, it can often be fixed with the addition of a lightning bolt."
I think this speaks volumes as to how awesome my friends are. Matt, I wish you were here to lend a hand because I'm definitely not up to task. One time I attempted some steps for another buddy. His lip started to quiver when he inspected my work in the mirror. I suspect if the room wasn't full of dudes he would have let those tears flow...
Either way, ummm, I'm just gonna stop-loss on this one.
SPF-50, the rest is up to you!
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Karaoke
Karaoke is wildly popular in Tawain.
By wildly popular, I mean there is a KTV (karaoke bar) on almost every corner. Think of every bar and gas station in your city. Now imagine those are KTV's. That's how ubiquitous they are.
Also, it's not karaoke like we think of it in the states - get smashed and and scream into the microphone - a contest of outrageous. Here, vocal performance is taken very seriously. Think apples to oranges, the WWF to PGA, Conrad to cliff notes... you get the idea.
Anyhow, it has never really been my cup of tea, but now I'm in a position of beat 'em or join 'em. This weekend I'll take a trip into the mountains with my school and everyone will be singing karaoke during the bus ride (departing at 6:30 in the morning). Sleep is not an option, and it will be more fun being part of the action.
Of course, I can't read the Chinese subtitles so I used google translate to get the pinyin:
Dāng qiūtiān sǎ xià zuìhòu yī bǎ fēngyè shí zhèng shì wǒ yào líkāi de shíhou
kàn zhe shōushí hǎo de xínglǐ xiǎngqǐ yuǎnfāng de nǐ xīnlǐ jìngrán yǒuyī gǔ xìngfú de gǎnjué
jiù zài zhège shíhou dìshàng de fēngyè chànà jiān
fēi qǐlái fēi guòlái fēi jìn wǒ shēn shēn xīnhuái
yuèguò nà níngjìng hǎi chōngmǎn zhe huíyì dì hǎi
nà yángguāng sǎ xià le ài cuīcù zhe wànwù zhànkāi
nà cǎihóng xiàng gè xiǎohái yǒnggǎn de jiāndìng de zhàn qǐlái
fēi guò nà ǎi zhú lí cāguò nà bānbó qiángbì
fā huáng de zhàopiàn li tòngkuài zhe nàme shúxī
bùjīngyì hé nǐ xiāng yù zài tiānkōng piāo zhe xiǎoyǔ
luòxià lái qīngchè de xī tiánměi de měi yīdiǎn měi yīdī
*Fēngyè a zài mǎn zhe wǒ de gǎndòng
fēngyè a qīngtīng zhe wǒ xīnqíng zhōng
shēnqiū li bànsuí zhe liànglì de mèng chōng xiàng wǒ
#huàchéng le mǎn shān hé mǎn gǔ de duì nǐ sīniàn
xiě mǎn le mǎn dì hé mǎn tiān de ài de shīpiān
yǒngtàn zhe shēngmìng dì měilì hé shìjiè de wúxiàn
fēiwǔ zài yǐhòu hé cóngqián tā lián chéng yīpiàn
suí zhe xīliú le qù suí zhe hé yòu liú le lái
lí qù shí xīn gǎnjī huílái shí mǎnxīn qídài
yīnwèi ài suǒyǐ cúnzài lù shī de lǜsè qīngtái
chénxī zhōng yíngfēng ér lái fēi jìn le wǒ xīnzhōng de dàhǎi
I've been listening to it on loop for a couple of hours. Still much more work to be done tomorrow and Friday. (Sidenote, this is a great way to practice pronunciation and intonation.) Wish me luck!
By wildly popular, I mean there is a KTV (karaoke bar) on almost every corner. Think of every bar and gas station in your city. Now imagine those are KTV's. That's how ubiquitous they are.
Also, it's not karaoke like we think of it in the states - get smashed and and scream into the microphone - a contest of outrageous. Here, vocal performance is taken very seriously. Think apples to oranges, the WWF to PGA, Conrad to cliff notes... you get the idea.
Anyhow, it has never really been my cup of tea, but now I'm in a position of beat 'em or join 'em. This weekend I'll take a trip into the mountains with my school and everyone will be singing karaoke during the bus ride (departing at 6:30 in the morning). Sleep is not an option, and it will be more fun being part of the action.
I'm determined to learn one song. I just want one song in my back pocket for all future karaoke endeavors. I think I made a good pick. The song is by a Taiwanese rock singer and songwriter, probably one of the biggest stars in Asia. Here it is:
Wu Bai - Maple Leaf
( 伍佰-楓葉 )
Of course, I can't read the Chinese subtitles so I used google translate to get the pinyin:
Dāng qiūtiān sǎ xià zuìhòu yī bǎ fēngyè shí zhèng shì wǒ yào líkāi de shíhou
kàn zhe shōushí hǎo de xínglǐ xiǎngqǐ yuǎnfāng de nǐ xīnlǐ jìngrán yǒuyī gǔ xìngfú de gǎnjué
jiù zài zhège shíhou dìshàng de fēngyè chànà jiān
fēi qǐlái fēi guòlái fēi jìn wǒ shēn shēn xīnhuái
yuèguò nà níngjìng hǎi chōngmǎn zhe huíyì dì hǎi
nà yángguāng sǎ xià le ài cuīcù zhe wànwù zhànkāi
nà cǎihóng xiàng gè xiǎohái yǒnggǎn de jiāndìng de zhàn qǐlái
fēi guò nà ǎi zhú lí cāguò nà bānbó qiángbì
fā huáng de zhàopiàn li tòngkuài zhe nàme shúxī
bùjīngyì hé nǐ xiāng yù zài tiānkōng piāo zhe xiǎoyǔ
luòxià lái qīngchè de xī tiánměi de měi yīdiǎn měi yīdī
*Fēngyè a zài mǎn zhe wǒ de gǎndòng
fēngyè a qīngtīng zhe wǒ xīnqíng zhōng
shēnqiū li bànsuí zhe liànglì de mèng chōng xiàng wǒ
#huàchéng le mǎn shān hé mǎn gǔ de duì nǐ sīniàn
xiě mǎn le mǎn dì hé mǎn tiān de ài de shīpiān
yǒngtàn zhe shēngmìng dì měilì hé shìjiè de wúxiàn
fēiwǔ zài yǐhòu hé cóngqián tā lián chéng yīpiàn
suí zhe xīliú le qù suí zhe hé yòu liú le lái
lí qù shí xīn gǎnjī huílái shí mǎnxīn qídài
yīnwèi ài suǒyǐ cúnzài lù shī de lǜsè qīngtái
chénxī zhōng yíngfēng ér lái fēi jìn le wǒ xīnzhōng de dàhǎi
I've been listening to it on loop for a couple of hours. Still much more work to be done tomorrow and Friday. (Sidenote, this is a great way to practice pronunciation and intonation.) Wish me luck!
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Start 'em Young
I got to see a snapshot of socialization today - what a gem.
First, the background story: every day my class has a break-time used exclusively for drinking water. The kids all get their water bottles, sit on the blue line and drink water. Yes, simple enough, but during this brief time I usually say, "[Student's name], drink water," about ten to fifteen times.
Not today.
Today, one of the students said, "ganbei," and it was contagious. It was a loop: ganbei, tap water bottles, laugh incessantly, drink, repeat. I didn't have to remind anyone to drink more water.
Ganbei means cheers and it's mostly used for taking shots. Already, these kids, under five years old, have learned the procedure and consumption standards for drinking booze.
I hope that whomever propagated candy cigarettes got a fat bonus if they worked for big tobacco; fantastic insight.
First, the background story: every day my class has a break-time used exclusively for drinking water. The kids all get their water bottles, sit on the blue line and drink water. Yes, simple enough, but during this brief time I usually say, "[Student's name], drink water," about ten to fifteen times.
Not today.
Today, one of the students said, "ganbei," and it was contagious. It was a loop: ganbei, tap water bottles, laugh incessantly, drink, repeat. I didn't have to remind anyone to drink more water.
Ganbei means cheers and it's mostly used for taking shots. Already, these kids, under five years old, have learned the procedure and consumption standards for drinking booze.
I hope that whomever propagated candy cigarettes got a fat bonus if they worked for big tobacco; fantastic insight.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
I Have a Problem...
I'm really struggling to write new posts because of wonderhowto, lifehacker, theawesomer, and howstuffworks.
Cyclically, I binge on websites like these. I've been in the grip of a serious bender.
Cyclically, I binge on websites like these. I've been in the grip of a serious bender.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Year of The Rabbit
Found this little diddy via theawesomer. Were you born in '87, too? If so, enjoy.
39 Degrees North: 兔年 Year of the Rabbit from 39 Degrees North on Vimeo.
39 Degrees North: 兔年 Year of the Rabbit from 39 Degrees North on Vimeo.
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Monday, January 31, 2011
Some Firsts
There have been a few firsts since my last post. Here they are:
First Time I...
...Went To an Office Party
I had my first ever office/work party last week for Chinese New Year.
Generally, I think my colleagues are incredibly reserved and mild-mannered. Not quite walking on eggshells but the guard is always up at work, I feel. At the party, everyone got a little drunk and it was nice to see.
The younger teachers were all sauced on wine and noticeably red-faced. It's acceptable and encouraged to peer pressure the boss into binge drinking. People line up to take shots with the boss like it's a 21st birthday party. What a Western office might call "sexual harassment" the Taiwanese office calls fun: during the shot line, one of the teachers held out her leg and said to the boss hammily, "I'm wearing red panties."
Getting the boss drunk is standard because, next, bonuses and gifts are handed out.
All of the bonuses came and red envelopes in odd denominations. Red signifies luck and joy (ahhaaa, red panties). Even numbers are unlucky, four particularly because in Chinese it sounds like the word death. There isn't a fourth floor in hospitals. The elevator goes from 3 to 5. A lot of things here are dictated by superstition. Gift-giving being a good example, following a complicated set of parameters and protocol.
I think a celebratory dinner like this one also follows some sort of established protocol. Throughout the whole process there were a bunch of theatrics - the Taiwanese love microphones.
Altogether, I was happy with my first office party and of course the extra cash.
...Enjoyed Myself In a Nightclub
Ok, not first, but I could count sincere instances on one hand, nonetheless. A few weekends ago, when the weather was too crummy to paraglide, I took the opportunity and went north to Taipei to visit a friend and go out for a night.
The club was cool because every couple of hours was interjected by a staged performance: flair bartending, dancers, dancers dressed in Darth Vader costumes with light sabers. It broke up the monotony of, well, being in a club.
I met some cool people and drank tequila with them, like this guy from Texas. Whenever I meet someone from Texas, I break the ice by asking, "Have you ever shot anyone?" So far, it has always been well-received. I'll quit using that line when someone replies in the affirmative.
It was also a nice opportunity to hit on blonde girls. Not many, though, in the sea of black hair. Regardless, I was swiftly rejected by like all three of them. Makes sense, I think my lifetime ratio of fail to succeed is in the neighborhood of like 10 or 15 to 1.
Hindsight, I have fallen into a scrub-like state of existence while living in my small village and people in clubs are trendy. Next time, I'll dress up and wear my hollering cap. The hollering cap is an unreleased fitted hat. Whenever I wear it, things fall for me - it's scary. I didn't buy the hollering cap, it came to me during spring break. I was pretty obliterated that entire week so I'm hoping I didn't make a Faustian bargain.
More about the hollering cap later...
... Owned a Paragliding Wing
I am starting to buy my very own paragliding gear, first purchase being the wing. New paraglider smell totally eclipses new car and new shoe smell.
The gear is costly and consumes most of my disposable income, but it's a lasting investment. Also, I got it at akiller really good price.
Today, I practiced some ground handling and it inflates brilliantly.
I don't want to post much about paragliding on stahlamerican, though, because I think it makes sense to start a paragliding sideblog in the spirit of organization and niche readership.
... Ran Completely Out of Contacts
I always test the limits of shipping because I forget to order contacts until I'm on my last pair. This time, it didn't work, and I enjoyed the fruits of my laziness and -1.25 uncorrected vision. My contacts came the same day as my paragliding wing - cosmic sign or coincidence? Whichever, it's sure nice to see individual blades of grass again.
... Am Using My Own Internet (in Taiwan)
And not pirating my neighbor's wifi. I just bought an external hard drive and my moral compass red flags pirating while pirating. Come on, that's just too much pirating. Pirating. I had to.
Pirating.
Done.
...Found a Song That Is Unequivocally Terrible
This is a monumental milestone for me. I've always been hard-pressed to find songs that are without any redeeming qualities whatsoever. Well, I've found one. I dare you to listen.
Xiu Xiu's cover of Fast Car by Tracy Chapman
Furthermore, I dare you to recommend a worse song. It's not likely, but you can try in the comments section.
.
First Time I...
...Went To an Office Party
I had my first ever office/work party last week for Chinese New Year.
Generally, I think my colleagues are incredibly reserved and mild-mannered. Not quite walking on eggshells but the guard is always up at work, I feel. At the party, everyone got a little drunk and it was nice to see.
The younger teachers were all sauced on wine and noticeably red-faced. It's acceptable and encouraged to peer pressure the boss into binge drinking. People line up to take shots with the boss like it's a 21st birthday party. What a Western office might call "sexual harassment" the Taiwanese office calls fun: during the shot line, one of the teachers held out her leg and said to the boss hammily, "I'm wearing red panties."
Getting the boss drunk is standard because, next, bonuses and gifts are handed out.
All of the bonuses came and red envelopes in odd denominations. Red signifies luck and joy (ahhaaa, red panties). Even numbers are unlucky, four particularly because in Chinese it sounds like the word death. There isn't a fourth floor in hospitals. The elevator goes from 3 to 5. A lot of things here are dictated by superstition. Gift-giving being a good example, following a complicated set of parameters and protocol.
I think a celebratory dinner like this one also follows some sort of established protocol. Throughout the whole process there were a bunch of theatrics - the Taiwanese love microphones.
Altogether, I was happy with my first office party and of course the extra cash.
...Enjoyed Myself In a Nightclub
Ok, not first, but I could count sincere instances on one hand, nonetheless. A few weekends ago, when the weather was too crummy to paraglide, I took the opportunity and went north to Taipei to visit a friend and go out for a night.
The club was cool because every couple of hours was interjected by a staged performance: flair bartending, dancers, dancers dressed in Darth Vader costumes with light sabers. It broke up the monotony of, well, being in a club.
I met some cool people and drank tequila with them, like this guy from Texas. Whenever I meet someone from Texas, I break the ice by asking, "Have you ever shot anyone?" So far, it has always been well-received. I'll quit using that line when someone replies in the affirmative.
It was also a nice opportunity to hit on blonde girls. Not many, though, in the sea of black hair. Regardless, I was swiftly rejected by like all three of them. Makes sense, I think my lifetime ratio of fail to succeed is in the neighborhood of like 10 or 15 to 1.
Hindsight, I have fallen into a scrub-like state of existence while living in my small village and people in clubs are trendy. Next time, I'll dress up and wear my hollering cap. The hollering cap is an unreleased fitted hat. Whenever I wear it, things fall for me - it's scary. I didn't buy the hollering cap, it came to me during spring break. I was pretty obliterated that entire week so I'm hoping I didn't make a Faustian bargain.
More about the hollering cap later...
... Owned a Paragliding Wing
I am starting to buy my very own paragliding gear, first purchase being the wing. New paraglider smell totally eclipses new car and new shoe smell.
The gear is costly and consumes most of my disposable income, but it's a lasting investment. Also, I got it at a
Today, I practiced some ground handling and it inflates brilliantly.
I don't want to post much about paragliding on stahlamerican, though, because I think it makes sense to start a paragliding sideblog in the spirit of organization and niche readership.
... Ran Completely Out of Contacts
I always test the limits of shipping because I forget to order contacts until I'm on my last pair. This time, it didn't work, and I enjoyed the fruits of my laziness and -1.25 uncorrected vision. My contacts came the same day as my paragliding wing - cosmic sign or coincidence? Whichever, it's sure nice to see individual blades of grass again.
... Am Using My Own Internet (in Taiwan)
And not pirating my neighbor's wifi. I just bought an external hard drive and my moral compass red flags pirating while pirating. Come on, that's just too much pirating. Pirating. I had to.
Pirating.
Done.
...Found a Song That Is Unequivocally Terrible
This is a monumental milestone for me. I've always been hard-pressed to find songs that are without any redeeming qualities whatsoever. Well, I've found one. I dare you to listen.
Xiu Xiu's cover of Fast Car by Tracy Chapman
Furthermore, I dare you to recommend a worse song. It's not likely, but you can try in the comments section.
.
Friday, January 28, 2011
I'm Here
So much to post and it's going down tomorrow(ish).
Seriously, expect an avalanche of material. Get ready!
Sidenote, if you are ever in a real avalanche and not killed from trauma, you'll likely be buried and disoriented. Don't forget that gravity still works - you can spit or drop something to re-orient yourself and dig out.
Seriously, expect an avalanche of material. Get ready!
Sidenote, if you are ever in a real avalanche and not killed from trauma, you'll likely be buried and disoriented. Don't forget that gravity still works - you can spit or drop something to re-orient yourself and dig out.
Monday, January 17, 2011
Guilty Pleasure - Rap Covers
I like listening to rap covered in non-rap genres. Don't drink the hatorade.
Hugo's "99 Problems" and Lissie's "Pursuit of Happiness" are my favorites. They both skip the kitsch and crank out songs that really really really work. I hear them and think, "wow!" Then I'll even mouth, "wow!" to myself and nod my head a little to reaffirm the prior approval. Hands down, my two favorites:
Hugo cover of "99 Problems" by Jay Z
Lissie cover of "Pursuit of Happiness" by Kid Cudi
Told you.
The following are more of a ploy but still worth a listen if you have some time to kill or are trying to force a "rap cover" playlist.
Ben Folds cover of "Bitches Ain't Shit" by Dr. Dre
some bluegrass
The Gourds cover of "Gin and Juice" by Snoop Dogg
Emmett and the Black Mountain Scorpion Bluegrass Experience Gang cover "Get Low" by Lil Jon
and lastly...
Spoken word cover of "Gin and Juice" by Snoop Dogg (bc you need to chill after so much awesome)
Hugo's "99 Problems" and Lissie's "Pursuit of Happiness" are my favorites. They both skip the kitsch and crank out songs that really really really work. I hear them and think, "wow!" Then I'll even mouth, "wow!" to myself and nod my head a little to reaffirm the prior approval. Hands down, my two favorites:
Hugo cover of "99 Problems" by Jay Z
Lissie cover of "Pursuit of Happiness" by Kid Cudi
Told you.
The following are more of a ploy but still worth a listen if you have some time to kill or are trying to force a "rap cover" playlist.
Ben Folds cover of "Bitches Ain't Shit" by Dr. Dre
some bluegrass
The Gourds cover of "Gin and Juice" by Snoop Dogg
Emmett and the Black Mountain Scorpion Bluegrass Experience Gang cover "Get Low" by Lil Jon
and lastly...
Spoken word cover of "Gin and Juice" by Snoop Dogg (bc you need to chill after so much awesome)
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Things I Found Secondhand
I am looking for a backpacking tent. My paragliding coach recommended looking at a surplus/secondhand store called Bbbobo. I spent some time scoping for a tent today with no luck. However, I did find...
... A breast pump. Being both childless and boobless, I didn't know these existed. I am still trying not to believe they exist in a secondhand store.
It's gonna take more than a few floppy discs to store George Michaels MP3 rips, though.
These are glasses filled with stones.
... A breast pump. Being both childless and boobless, I didn't know these existed. I am still trying not to believe they exist in a secondhand store.
2MBs!!!! KICK ASSS! |
It's gonna take more than a few floppy discs to store George Michaels MP3 rips, though.
No Chinese on the box; shame on someone but not the usual suspects. |
These are glasses filled with stones.
Insert wooden penis caption here. |
Maybe I won't find a tent. It's still fun looking, though.
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Save the Sugar
This morning, I noticed some little ants crawling around in my sugar bowl while I was sweetening my tea. I paused to think for a moment, then ultimately decided to drink the tea and save the sugar. "Bear Grylls would do it," being my justification.
Congratulations, you are now privy to the inner workings of my brain.
Congratulations, you are now privy to the inner workings of my brain.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Cool Paragliding Pics
Here's a really nice photo album of my paragliding. Check it out! Photos were taken by my coach's cousin.
Full album here.
Major hat tip. Thanks, George!
Full album here.
Major hat tip. Thanks, George!
Friday, January 7, 2011
Incidental Guilt Trip
Nothing motivates me to learn Chinese quite like an incidental, introspection-prompting guilt trip. I'll explain.
Recently, my coworker invited me to his house. His newborn baby turned one month old, and in Taiwan they have a swanky feast for family and friends. I felt all warm and tingly having received an invite - the other foreign teachers didn't. And, it was just a good time (Christmas-ish) to be around a family, albeit not my family.
The party itself was impressive. The food was all catered and the spread was vast and incredible. Giant prawns, a myriad of crabs, mussels, oysters, steamed fish, braised fish, calamari, oysters, I could go on. And my coworker encouraged my consumption: "Tim, eat food. I see you eat like a beast at school." Amen.
During the meal, there were many toasts, cheers, and jollity. I was at the main table with my coworker, Jason, and his family. By default, I was included in everything. I vaguely knew what was going on only because raising a glass and taking a drink is a good clue.
Anyhow, Jason was busy so I mostly talked to his dad. Dad talked my ear off, and I felt like we were constantly raising our glasses - my sparkling apple juice (I had to return to work) to his red wine. I don't know what he said, but he's wicked cool for sure. And funny. Probably. I misrepresented my comprehension using my most adorable student's strategy: nodding, smiling, and saying "yeah" to everything.
I even thought I understood a little. I didn't. Jason confirmed that his dad did not have an apple fruit orchard in a nearby city.
All the while, I'm noticing fleeting glances from another table, mostly family from Jason's side. His brothers, uncles, and of course a crazy aunt are all interested in what the white dude was doing at the party. Jason introduced me and I wanted to field questions, but couldn't. My introduction is short and scripted:
1. My name is Tim
2. I'm american
3. English Teacher
4. My house is in Donggang
5. Taiwan good
My brief Q&A unsatisfactorily ends with number 6.
6. Sorry, I don't speak much Chinese.
I left the party with a fat sack of some really tasty fried rice and seafood.
Again:
Most Thursdays, I'll go to the riverside park and practicing controlling my paraglider. The paraglider is just a giant kite big enough to suspend me in the sky. Big enough to violently drag me around on the ground, too, hence the practice part. Anyhow, the whole process looks pretty cool, and not many people have seen this before. My kiting practice usually draws a curious crowd, mostly transient onlookers, but I don't feel any obligation to indulge them with my attention.
*Really, the paraglider just exacerbates a common occurrence - people approach me, generally interested because I look different and speak English. All too often, I'm propositioned to be friends, become e-mail pals, exchange phone numbers, etc. Most are after free English lessons. I teach English because it pays for my awesome life here. That's all. Thanks but no-thanks middle-aged whomever I have little in common with nor want to sacrifice text messages for. I'll say that at the risk of sounding like a dick. Yes, it's nice making friends, but the crux is selectivity and mutual benefit.*
The farmer across the road is different. Whenever I take a break to hydrate and he isn't working in his field, the farmer will flag me over and pour me a glass of beer. Or sometimes this stuff called "Paolyta" - I'm not exactly sure what that is. More importantly, I think anyone who waves me over and pours me a beer is a cool dude. Also, I've said this before: coolness transcends cultural borders.
That coolness makes all the difference. If people are interested enough to invest in me: fried rice, a glass of beer, climbing lessons, whatever; I don't want to let them down with a shitty shrug and far too few words.
Recently, my coworker invited me to his house. His newborn baby turned one month old, and in Taiwan they have a swanky feast for family and friends. I felt all warm and tingly having received an invite - the other foreign teachers didn't. And, it was just a good time (Christmas-ish) to be around a family, albeit not my family.
The party itself was impressive. The food was all catered and the spread was vast and incredible. Giant prawns, a myriad of crabs, mussels, oysters, steamed fish, braised fish, calamari, oysters, I could go on. And my coworker encouraged my consumption: "Tim, eat food. I see you eat like a beast at school." Amen.
During the meal, there were many toasts, cheers, and jollity. I was at the main table with my coworker, Jason, and his family. By default, I was included in everything. I vaguely knew what was going on only because raising a glass and taking a drink is a good clue.
Anyhow, Jason was busy so I mostly talked to his dad. Dad talked my ear off, and I felt like we were constantly raising our glasses - my sparkling apple juice (I had to return to work) to his red wine. I don't know what he said, but he's wicked cool for sure. And funny. Probably. I misrepresented my comprehension using my most adorable student's strategy: nodding, smiling, and saying "yeah" to everything.
I even thought I understood a little. I didn't. Jason confirmed that his dad did not have an apple fruit orchard in a nearby city.
All the while, I'm noticing fleeting glances from another table, mostly family from Jason's side. His brothers, uncles, and of course a crazy aunt are all interested in what the white dude was doing at the party. Jason introduced me and I wanted to field questions, but couldn't. My introduction is short and scripted:
1. My name is Tim
2. I'm american
3. English Teacher
4. My house is in Donggang
5. Taiwan good
My brief Q&A unsatisfactorily ends with number 6.
6. Sorry, I don't speak much Chinese.
I left the party with a fat sack of some really tasty fried rice and seafood.
Again:
Most Thursdays, I'll go to the riverside park and practicing controlling my paraglider. The paraglider is just a giant kite big enough to suspend me in the sky. Big enough to violently drag me around on the ground, too, hence the practice part. Anyhow, the whole process looks pretty cool, and not many people have seen this before. My kiting practice usually draws a curious crowd, mostly transient onlookers, but I don't feel any obligation to indulge them with my attention.
*Really, the paraglider just exacerbates a common occurrence - people approach me, generally interested because I look different and speak English. All too often, I'm propositioned to be friends, become e-mail pals, exchange phone numbers, etc. Most are after free English lessons. I teach English because it pays for my awesome life here. That's all. Thanks but no-thanks middle-aged whomever I have little in common with nor want to sacrifice text messages for. I'll say that at the risk of sounding like a dick. Yes, it's nice making friends, but the crux is selectivity and mutual benefit.*
The farmer across the road is different. Whenever I take a break to hydrate and he isn't working in his field, the farmer will flag me over and pour me a glass of beer. Or sometimes this stuff called "Paolyta" - I'm not exactly sure what that is. More importantly, I think anyone who waves me over and pours me a beer is a cool dude. Also, I've said this before: coolness transcends cultural borders.
That coolness makes all the difference. If people are interested enough to invest in me: fried rice, a glass of beer, climbing lessons, whatever; I don't want to let them down with a shitty shrug and far too few words.
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
The New Year
A few things.
This year was Taiwan's equivalent to Y2K, dubbed Y1C or year 100. Taiwan doesn't use a Western calendar but instead designates 1912 as year 1 (the ROC was founded in 1912). That makes 2011 year 100 in Taiwan. Anyhow, rest easy; Taiwan's computer infrastructure is OK and mass chaos did not ensue. I had a hard time getting hyped for it because Y2K was a major spoiler.
More excitingly, Taiwan skips the ball-drop thing and rings in the new year with a shit-ton of fireworks. A metric shit-ton! (That's even more than an Imperial shit-ton!!) I watched the fireworks from the rooftop of a high-rise in Kaohsiung. Our wimpy Fourth of July "fireworks" pale in comparison. .
Imagine a sustained grand finale - an intense, continuous variety of mortars upon mortars. And this was going on all over. Fireworks were simultaneously lit off in different places throughout the city -the harbor, parks, the business district, main roads. They were lighting off fireworks in the middle of the city! I could see Magnesium trails dropping onto another high-rise. Awesome. Fireworks are my favorite. Good start to 2011.
I say that cautiously, though, because 2011 is the year of my Chinese zodiac (rabbit). Initially, I was excited - you know, my year should be awesome. However, that's not how it works. My friend suggested I go to a temple and pray for peace. I think I'll go paragliding instead.
Lastly, I don't have any resolutions to break because I didn't make any. They are for the birds.
This year was Taiwan's equivalent to Y2K, dubbed Y1C or year 100. Taiwan doesn't use a Western calendar but instead designates 1912 as year 1 (the ROC was founded in 1912). That makes 2011 year 100 in Taiwan. Anyhow, rest easy; Taiwan's computer infrastructure is OK and mass chaos did not ensue. I had a hard time getting hyped for it because Y2K was a major spoiler.
More excitingly, Taiwan skips the ball-drop thing and rings in the new year with a shit-ton of fireworks. A metric shit-ton! (That's even more than an Imperial shit-ton!!) I watched the fireworks from the rooftop of a high-rise in Kaohsiung. Our wimpy Fourth of July "fireworks" pale in comparison. .
Imagine a sustained grand finale - an intense, continuous variety of mortars upon mortars. And this was going on all over. Fireworks were simultaneously lit off in different places throughout the city -the harbor, parks, the business district, main roads. They were lighting off fireworks in the middle of the city! I could see Magnesium trails dropping onto another high-rise. Awesome. Fireworks are my favorite. Good start to 2011.
I say that cautiously, though, because 2011 is the year of my Chinese zodiac (rabbit). Initially, I was excited - you know, my year should be awesome. However, that's not how it works. My friend suggested I go to a temple and pray for peace. I think I'll go paragliding instead.
Lastly, I don't have any resolutions to break because I didn't make any. They are for the birds.
I will note, though, that I'm living well right now and intend to maintain trajectory.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)