Incidental Guilt Trip

Nothing motivates me to learn Chinese quite like an incidental, introspection-prompting guilt trip. I'll explain.

Recently, my coworker invited me to his house. His newborn baby turned one month old, and in Taiwan they have a swanky feast for family and friends. I felt all warm and tingly having received an invite - the other foreign teachers didn't. And, it was just a good time (Christmas-ish) to be around a family, albeit not my family.

The party itself was impressive. The food was all catered and the spread was vast and incredible. Giant prawns, a myriad of crabs, mussels, oysters, steamed fish, braised fish, calamari, oysters, I could go on. And my coworker encouraged my consumption: "Tim, eat food. I see you eat like a beast at school." Amen.

During the meal, there were many toasts, cheers, and jollity. I was at the main table with my coworker, Jason, and his family. By default, I was included in everything. I vaguely knew what was going on only because raising a glass and taking a drink is a good clue.

Anyhow, Jason was busy so I mostly talked to his dad. Dad talked my ear off, and I felt like we were constantly raising our glasses - my sparkling apple juice (I had to return to work) to his red wine. I don't know what he said, but he's wicked cool for sure. And funny. Probably. I misrepresented my comprehension using my most adorable student's strategy: nodding, smiling, and saying "yeah" to everything.

I even thought I understood a little. I didn't. Jason confirmed that his dad did not have an apple fruit orchard in a nearby city.

All the while, I'm noticing fleeting glances from another table, mostly family from Jason's side. His brothers, uncles, and of course a crazy aunt are all interested in what the white dude was doing at the party. Jason introduced me and I wanted to field questions, but couldn't. My introduction is short and scripted:
1. My name is Tim
2. I'm american
3. English Teacher
4. My house is in Donggang
5. Taiwan good
My brief Q&A unsatisfactorily ends with number 6.
6. Sorry, I don't speak much Chinese.

I left the party with a fat sack of some really tasty fried rice and seafood.

Again:

Most Thursdays, I'll go to the riverside park and practicing controlling my paraglider. The paraglider is just a giant kite big enough to suspend me in the sky. Big enough to violently drag me around on the ground, too, hence the practice part. Anyhow, the whole process looks pretty cool, and not many people have seen this before. My kiting practice usually draws a curious crowd, mostly transient onlookers, but I don't feel any obligation to indulge them with my attention.

*Really, the paraglider just exacerbates a common occurrence - people approach me, generally interested because I look different and speak English. All too often, I'm propositioned to be friends, become e-mail pals, exchange phone numbers, etc. Most are after free English lessons. I teach English because it pays for my awesome life here. That's all. Thanks but no-thanks middle-aged whomever I have little in common with nor want to sacrifice text messages for. I'll say that at the risk of sounding like a dick. Yes, it's nice making friends, but the crux is selectivity and mutual benefit.*

The farmer across the road is different. Whenever I take a break to hydrate and he isn't working in his field, the farmer will flag me over and pour me a glass of beer. Or sometimes this stuff called "Paolyta" - I'm not exactly sure what that is. More importantly, I think anyone who waves me over and pours me a beer is a cool dude. Also, I've said this before: coolness transcends cultural borders.

That coolness makes all the difference. If people are interested enough to invest in me: fried rice, a glass of beer, climbing lessons, whatever; I don't want to let them down with a shitty shrug and far too few words.

Music I Like

I like this music:

http://www.ceumusic.com/

.

The New Year

A few things.

This year was Taiwan's equivalent to Y2K, dubbed Y1C or year 100. Taiwan doesn't use a Western calendar but instead designates 1912 as year 1 (the ROC was founded in 1912). That makes 2011 year 100 in Taiwan. Anyhow, rest easy; Taiwan's computer infrastructure is OK and mass chaos did not ensue. I had a hard time getting hyped for it because Y2K was a major spoiler.

More excitingly, Taiwan skips the ball-drop thing and rings in the new year with a shit-ton of fireworks. A metric shit-ton! (That's even more than an Imperial shit-ton!!) I watched the fireworks from the rooftop of a high-rise in Kaohsiung. Our wimpy Fourth of July "fireworks" pale in comparison. .

Imagine a sustained grand finale - an intense, continuous variety of mortars upon mortars. And this was going on all over. Fireworks were simultaneously lit off in different places throughout the city -the harbor, parks, the business district, main roads. They were lighting off fireworks in the middle of the city! I could see Magnesium trails dropping onto another high-rise. Awesome. Fireworks are my favorite. Good start to 2011.

I say that cautiously, though, because 2011 is the year of my Chinese zodiac (rabbit). Initially, I was excited - you know, my year should be awesome. However, that's not how it works. My friend suggested I go to a temple and pray for peace. I think I'll go paragliding instead.

Lastly, I don't have any resolutions to break because I didn't make any. They are for the birds.

I will note, though, that I'm living well right now and intend to maintain trajectory. 

North American Dialect Map

Neato!



Hat tip: Marginal Revolution

Goodbye, Thick Skin

I've lost my resolve and decided it's prudent to buy a jacket.

It's winter here and at night the temperature drops down to around 50 F. In the morning, when I bike to work, it's still only about 60 F. That's pleasant compared to the Minnesota winter I came from, but slowly I've acclimated and sixty degrees now feels like twenty to me.

I can't wait for summer; everyone tells me it's hot and miserable.

Dick In A Box

 The original dick in a box:

Pretty sure the Chinese  translate to: "Not gonna get  you a diamond ring; that sorta gift don't mean anything."

Gingerbread Houses

Today the kids made gingerbread houses. Wilson being the exception. He just couldn't resist the delicious, delicious sugar. He spent the hour asking for more frosting to glue his house together and then licking it off his fingers. haha...

Wilson usually cracks me up - this was the icing on the cake gingerbread house.

 Notice the other kids in the background patiently holding their houses together and waiting for the frosting to dry.




As if this weren't enough, another student was singing, "He knows when you're awake. He knows when Wilson has eats his house!"

Christmas Mashup

Christmas classics all mashed up:

http://www.bootiemashup.com/xmas/

I like track 8 on the green side.

Things That Make Benson Cry

One kindergarten student starts crying all the time.

Most kids' crying is pretty standard - time outs, a super awesome block castle getting knocked over, etc. Also, the stages are really pronounced and predictable. First, there's the incident. Next, the eyes well up and a frown develops. From there, I can start a countdown until tears and screaming of a variable magnitude.

But Benson is different. One second he's fine and the next he's crying his eyes out. The progression of tear up to full on crying is practically instantaneous. Also, his triggers are numerous and unpredictable. After a while, it became kind of entertaining, and I had to start documenting. I don't think that's cruel.*

Here is the ever-expanding list of things that make Benson cry. 

Some make sense:

•  Time outs - given; time outs will break many a three year old's spirit.
• A cockroach - I don't like them much, either.
• Stepping in spilled water - crying is better than swearing or punching other kids, I guess.

Others not so much: 

• A plastic toy lobster - it's red?
• The tiny geckos that run around everywhere - glass jar, anyone?
• His Christmas costume - sure, it wasn't a matador costume, but Uncle Sam is still awesome!
• A leaf that blew into the classroom - the other students didn't think it looked threatening.

Lastly, some things leave me scratching my head:

• When kindergartners have to use they bathroom they ask in a few different ways. Some will simply tap me and say, "May I go to the bathroom?" Others are more crude and just grab their junk and pantomime "peeing all over everything." Others still, just leave the classroom and go. I'm fine with all of those. Guess which method Benson prefers? None of the above - he just starts crying. 

• Last week, a puppy wandered into the schoolyard. It was black, about the size of a shoe and frolicking all around with big 'ol puppy dog eyes. It was adorable. All the kids ran toward the dog, and I was worried it would get trampled. Basically, the epitome of childhood curiosity. Everyone was ecstatic about the little puppy. ... Except Benson. Benson started crying. 

Addendum:
*I cried when I started kindergarten. It sucked - I missed my mom, couldn't cut my own hair, and playtime wasn't all the time. My teacher let me use the computer for a little while every day. (Ms. Grace, thank you for being so patient and understanding while I adjusted to my new environment.) And adjust I did: a few days later, I stopped crying and proceeded to be hardened by public school. ;)

Anyhow, I really can't empathize with Benson's situation. I tried the first couple times, but come on, an adorable puppy...

Documenting will continue. This may turn into a series if it continues to be fresh.

Airport Near my House

Taiwan is becoming more open to general aviation. Prior to arriving, I read about the flying situation on the internet and it looked bleak. Now, I regret leaving my license and logbooks at home.
I found out that there's a small airport in Dapeng Bay, basically my backyard.

It's a one runway (18/36) airfield. The FBO has a fleet of three ultralight aircraft. One really piqued my interest: an Aeroprakt A-22. Its design is similar to the first airplane I ever flew, the Remos G3 light sport. I need to get in that airplane. 

Hopefully, I'll be in the skies soon flying around Dapeng Bay. I plan to offer English lessons and my token whiteness* in exchange for flight time. 

*The Taiwanese like white people and I enjoy very high status here. Having a token white person around gives places face. I'll explain the concept of face in more detail later as I'm still learning the dynamics.